Learning names and meanings behind initials has quickly becoming an impossibility. For now it is skim emails and updates, pick out main ideas and fine print on forms to make sure that we will comply..and have not signed rights to our current children away. It is now obvious to me that the short time line that I thought we had is actually not the correct one at all.
This morning I attended a writer's conference. I had been excitedly looking forward to a few months ago, but I had trouble motivating myself to attend today. All I've been writing lately is poorly worded, jumbled letters to a foreign country to ask for permission to adopt,not using smiley faces or colloquialisms that may not translate or words like blessing, Bible or God. How do I let my heart show how much I love and value this beautiful child, that I've never met, that God brought to my inbox a little over two months ago, that needs not only a forever family but has been in need of necessary and complex surgery that can't be done in country but must be done ASAP and the whole process to adopt is estimated to take 10-14months...and we do not have MOST of the funds to pay for most of the remaining adoption expenses and we don't speak or understand our son's native language nor him ours?!
Quick shower later, brushed hair, clean dress and makeup on I raced downstairs to promptly race back up the stairs as the strange breeze reminded me I had forgotten to put on something far more than removing the rest of my chipped and fading toenail polish...a hard belly laugh from me and my husband a few minutes later and quick goodbyes to the kiddos, nervously rechecking to ensure I was wearing panties this time, I race out the door.
I have been thinking about the deadline all wrong and inserting me way too much in this process. The real time line is more like Gotcha Day in December for many reasons.
For that to happen...as with all of this process it will be God. Reflecting on the day, the goosebumps reactions from folks that I've shared some of this adventure coupled with goosebumps of my own...yeah, it's God!
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