Grace

Overwhelming grace. I am amazed by how much has been given to me and how much I need to give.
Adoption talks are not new for us, but there have been some new developments that have been surprising. It may be that Hudson's adoption has stirred up some deep feelings or maybe unrelated? Whatever the reasons are, I am grateful for the privilege of telling our kiddos pieces of their story as they are able to process...and as I am able to speak without shedding too many tears. At the end of the day, adoption is a lot about loss and there are no words that can really describe the sounds and things I see my children experience.

I have been overwhelmed by the blessing of shared pain of two of our girls. By that I mean how beautiful it has been to hear them grieve their birth mother and comfort each other in ways when words and tears fail. They have heard me talk about her and comment on the similarities that they share with her, but actually talking together, usually I talk with them one on one when we're having "big feelings".

Never thought that our kiddos actually may need to hear me "give permission" to them to love both their birth family and us their forever family?! I love the girls birth mother and birth father. Just didn't think it would be so hard or so necessary for me to say the words to them.  I wanted to be real, and I cried. Not ugly crying, that is for later, but a bit. I mostly prayed for strength to speak truth in love and enough to heal not deepen the hurts...only God can cover me for this task.

As I saw the way the girls related to each other on even a deeper lever than I had seen in the last 5 years. I saw the power of genetics. A bond I knew was important to maintain, but not something I ever truly saw this real before.  An understanding and almost grace-like quality. Overwhelming grace.

Grace has been a theme that has reappeared several times throughout this adoptive journey. Again today, in my Bible study read the word grace..not unusual it is woven pretty frequently throughout Scripture.
 What is different is that I have been praying for world orphans and a few in particular for a few months now. There is one in particular who was also with Hudson for a time at his previous home. I want to ask, about the status, but the last time I tried to help God out well....

Really a shock, but if God can use a bib to bring us a son, is anything too hard for Him?

We watched a DVD and there was a child with a similar SN and our kiddos shouted out the name of the kiddo we've been praying for to find  forever family...they also suggested ours. Seems like we've been down this road recently before:)

Figure if there is an actual daughter for us to adopt at this time, a Grace, then God will provide the additional funds needed...and they are needed very soon.

Pray hard. We're sure of God's grace, but unsure if He is asking us to add a Grace at this time. And the extra finding is totally on Him, we do not have it...But He sure does:)