We've outgrown our house. Over the summer I began working on updating and decluttering to make selling and moving easier. We've never moved with children before and well, moving with 5 kids is very intimidating and takes a LOT of planning! We have really great kids and they have helped out a lot. Their rooms are so clean and organized!! They helped pick out what toys to have out and what could go in storage or be given away. Very grateful.
Prayerfully, we started making plans to build or buy a house that could work for us now and as the kids grow. We started to dream and look carefully at our budget. (maybe I dreamed more and glanced at the budget) Through the process, it became clear that it wasn't just a house that we were needing, it was connection. Connection and a sense of belonging in our community.
Wow, I am disconnected!!!
Our area is really great and we have acquaintances here, but we are not connected. Our church is also great and we have acquaintances there and some deepening friendships, but we are really disconnected there too. Our family is unique and there are some challenges in raising children with special needs that I am still learning how to navigate. One of the biggest challenges I face is vulnerability, letting others see deeper inside my heart and our family. Other challenges are safety and privacy. It is hard to carry on a conversation with someone while making sure my 5 creative and often adventuresome kiddos are safe and reasonably well behaved. It does get really uncomfortable being asked personal questions about our children and family in a large group setting by people that I have just met or those that happen to be nearby and see me with our kiddos. I've tried to be godly while giving gentle and appropriate answers...but if you've read any of my other posts you already know that doesn't always happen;)
So we started praying and really looking at our family's housing needs but more importantly our family's need to be connected. It is amazing that in years of ministry, serving, teaching, trainings and Biblical study we didn't see how fundamental (and really crucial for ministry to gain traction and support) being connected was. Honestly, I had to admit to God that I had let past hurts, my failures and fears about being rejected personally and as a family keep me so guarded with others that real connection really wasn't possible.
Ouch, owning my stuff hurts.
BUT like the Daddy I have, He has given grace and brought some really amazing people to my life that my family and I have been getting to know better. He has allowed me to see His glory and His connectedness.
He created a world-a place filled with people created for connection, offering up his own son as proof of His love and deep desire to remain connected with people.
He connected a community- to rally together to love and support a precious family's efforts to secure a wheelchair accessible van. This precious daughter, Elise, has accomplished incredible things to raise awareness, encourage others and give God's message of hope. Read her story and about her family's journey here.
He connected a family-a far away orphan with severe facial disfigurements became an accepted and beautifully connected son, my son. Hudson has the biggest heart and has taught me and so many around him the depth of God's love, faithfulness and provision. This little blessing is awesome!!!
There are many more connections to come.
For now, our house is under contract and set to close in a month. We have plans to stay in the area to finish out the school year and participate in the isd's summer camps:) Our heart's desire is to be open to His leading, deeply connected to God first, and moving to a closer connection with others in whatever community He places us. For our good,His glory...and hopefully some more space for the 7 of us:)
