Sunday, August 23, 2015

But why do I have to have scars?

"But why do I have to have scars?"

I feel my heart twitch and my eyes sting a little as my youngest son questions his Dad that is massaging his scarred eyelid. I too struggle with that question.

At that moment all I could think of was the chorus to Steven Curtis Chapman's song, Beautiful Scars and open the music file on my computer.  He sits on my lap as his Dad is still massaging his face and we talk about some of the words and the scars that Christ has for us. "Our wounded healer...suffered to set us free...reminders of the wounded love that has carried us this far." I sing the chorus and snuggle him a little closer.

In the desk drawer we have his adoption files and paperwork. I get the file of early pictures and advocacy articles.  I open to an entry from his Nai Nai Jenny entitled "A Beautiful Heart, A Beautiful Mind".  We read it out loud and I help him with some of the more challenging words. He reads about himself as a 3 year old. How smart, sweet and loving he was...and still is.

We talk about scars on the outside and that everyone has scars just sometimes the scars are on the inside. I assure him I have scars, but mostly on the inside. I remind him that he is as he was planned, born where he was born and when he was born...and that we loved him and all of his scars.

Beautiful scars, so beautiful









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