Letter to Hudson, from a very tired and hopeful Mommy

Son,
This past month has been incredible. I feel every bit like we Daddy & I are training for another marathon, but this time it is not with the goal of proving something to ourselves it is to bring you home for surgery. Son, I have been so tired this week, your sisters and brother have been so strong...and behaved themselves...well mostly:)
There have been a few times this week that I've gotten scared or just felt overwhelmed by all that was required. I worry I am going to mess up a paper or just freak out and not make it through this process.  I pray and God seems to bring a reminder that He has this adoption too. I have trouble trusting, Him too.

Radiant Hudson, You have been the most incredible surprise, we are so grateful. I have your picture on my iphone and when I get tired of making another long distance call or filling out another stack of forms or driving to pick up forms I look at your face and for a while I run again.

It is hard for me to hear about timelines and what is possible and the realities of your needed surgeries.  I refuse to believe that God brought you to us and then left us to figure the rest out alone. Son, it is hard and I get scared and confused. Knowing that you are our son, even without the paperwork. Having a faith that really believes...when I can't see?

How is this possible? Traveling in December when our USCIS docs aren't even sent for processing yet?! Trying to figure out how to learn mandarin when I feel like english is my second language?! How is God going to supply for all of our needs to get you here, and the surgeries that you will need soon after? The strength to keep running when I am getting so tired?

The prayers and desire of my heart a prayer that began when I was about 12 is finally here on the verge of coming true and I am getting really scared. Will your vision be okay, will your eye be spared? Are we going to get to you as soon as I know you need us to for surgery? If we are late, will you blame me for not running harder?

My son, my precious and radiant blessing, you have been so prayed over from many that have known and loved you. You are God's and He will hold you while we race. I promise to pray hard and to try to obey faithfully while God moves the impossible mountains that stand between us.

I love you,
Mommy