It was a long and amazing weekend. We went to our first Tapestry conference at Irving Bible Church. Very grateful for Michael & Amy Monroe's hospitality. I rent to the orphan care track and was blown away by the things that God is doing! Dare I mention how much we love Bruce & Denise Kendrick, encouraged and blessed by how God works through them and their ministry to children, completely owning that we are Embrace groupies:)
Daily, I am reminded that I am super unqualified to lead a ministry. Getting out of God's way & doing the work as He brings seems to be exactly how He likes it. There were many things to learn,will be working on getting meetings scheduled as we can. Prayerfully making some decisions and stepping out in faith...love it when God does His thing as we obey:)
Both yesterday and today we were blessed to hear from David & Jayne Schooler. Incredible servants of God with a passion for healing children and families dealing with trauma with the hope & help of Christ. I also began reading the book Wounded Children Healing Homes, highly recommend. Jayne & David both talk about realities as they are and hope of healing that is found in Christ and a skilled therapist:) I found many things I once had believed about adoption that I wished I had looked at before we began our journey 7 years ago.
Throughout the sessions and speakers, God had confirmed a lot about direction for Abba ministry as well as some things we are praying over for ourselves. It is exhilarating! Like I finally get it!
We've been praying over Orphan Sunday for several months. Can hardly believe it is a week away! As we've researched info to bring to the church body, God is asking us to do things for our own adoption to engage our church body and friends.
Praying hard and gearin' up...God's got this and whatever He does is sure to be great as we stay out of His way:) We are humbled and grateful.
Pray Hard, you know the attacks have stepped up quite a bit as Orphan Sunday nears and as we've continued to move ahead with our paperwork.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
All For Jesus
I recently watched a movie about Mother Theresa, not sure of the details, but she is attributed with answering these powerful words.
"That's right, All for Jesus."
I am no Mother Theresa, but as I have continued to pray dangerously, God has answered.
As I learn more about the people of the world, millions without true Hope of Christ, poor, needy, sick, fatherless, motherless, I burn to do more. Aware of my unworthiness, I ask to be made worthy to serve.
Being emptied of myself, cleaned, healed and filled with His love and Words. To answer, the words questing my heart.
All for Jesus?
Yes, LORD. Beyond my fear, as you are willing, all for you.
"That's right, All for Jesus."
I am no Mother Theresa, but as I have continued to pray dangerously, God has answered.
As I learn more about the people of the world, millions without true Hope of Christ, poor, needy, sick, fatherless, motherless, I burn to do more. Aware of my unworthiness, I ask to be made worthy to serve.
Being emptied of myself, cleaned, healed and filled with His love and Words. To answer, the words questing my heart.
All for Jesus?
Yes, LORD. Beyond my fear, as you are willing, all for you.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Knowing the value
Dumpling,
God has lit a fire inside of me that I think will just burn me alive. The more I read and learn about orphans in the world, your part of the world especially, the more I want to allow God to use me. I am super unqualified...you will understand all about that after you are home, but I KNOW that He is able. I hurt for those that have no mommy and never will. I cry for you my littlest love, even though God has asked us to adopt you there are still mountains that He will have to move.
My son, my heart longs to hear actual news of you. It was a lot easier when I was able to know that you were safe, loved and provided for. These months since your move have been difficult on me. I try not to show it too much to the other kiddos and to Daddy, but son, today was a hard day for me. It was hard because I wondered if it was a particularly hard day for you. Preparing for Orphan Sunday and making calls to ministries that care for orphans I am learning about many things God has going on and it is encouraging. As I learn more about the millions of orphans that live and die without knowing true Hope and the Love of their Heavenly Daddy but would know all about hopelessness, starvation or have their bodies ravaged by AIDS I was slightly comforted knowing that you would be spared of some of that.
When I was reheating lunch for your older sister and me, I wondered if you were given enough to eat? Did you look forward to hot meals of rice and beans or veggies, like the lunch I was inwardly complaining about, but eating anyway? Are you feeling okay, the cold and flu season is upon us here in Texas, when does that season come for you? Will parasites and scabies be the worst things you have to endure? You Dumpling are among the blessed ones in an orphanage, I pray that God will send you reminders daily of your value and that you don't give up on the Hope of a forever family.
I do not have to prove or explain to anyone beyond the homestudy agency, USCIS and your government that we are a good fit for you. I had a hard time remaining calm and loving today discussing the realities that continuing to move forward in your adoption will require even more sacrifice of some valuable stuff. I cannot explain sacrificial love, but I will try to live it. Your Daddy & I KNOW your value. You are our son and all of our children are priceless.
God has lit a fire inside of me that I think will just burn me alive. The more I read and learn about orphans in the world, your part of the world especially, the more I want to allow God to use me. I am super unqualified...you will understand all about that after you are home, but I KNOW that He is able. I hurt for those that have no mommy and never will. I cry for you my littlest love, even though God has asked us to adopt you there are still mountains that He will have to move.
My son, my heart longs to hear actual news of you. It was a lot easier when I was able to know that you were safe, loved and provided for. These months since your move have been difficult on me. I try not to show it too much to the other kiddos and to Daddy, but son, today was a hard day for me. It was hard because I wondered if it was a particularly hard day for you. Preparing for Orphan Sunday and making calls to ministries that care for orphans I am learning about many things God has going on and it is encouraging. As I learn more about the millions of orphans that live and die without knowing true Hope and the Love of their Heavenly Daddy but would know all about hopelessness, starvation or have their bodies ravaged by AIDS I was slightly comforted knowing that you would be spared of some of that.
When I was reheating lunch for your older sister and me, I wondered if you were given enough to eat? Did you look forward to hot meals of rice and beans or veggies, like the lunch I was inwardly complaining about, but eating anyway? Are you feeling okay, the cold and flu season is upon us here in Texas, when does that season come for you? Will parasites and scabies be the worst things you have to endure? You Dumpling are among the blessed ones in an orphanage, I pray that God will send you reminders daily of your value and that you don't give up on the Hope of a forever family.
I do not have to prove or explain to anyone beyond the homestudy agency, USCIS and your government that we are a good fit for you. I had a hard time remaining calm and loving today discussing the realities that continuing to move forward in your adoption will require even more sacrifice of some valuable stuff. I cannot explain sacrificial love, but I will try to live it. Your Daddy & I KNOW your value. You are our son and all of our children are priceless.
Friday, October 14, 2011
On Funding an International Adoption
So, I'm not much of a blogger. As the masculine side of this union, I rarely venture into the blogosphere to opine or share the experiences of my personal life. But this time, God's faithfulness compelled me. Not so much for my benefit, but for giving hope to other families who agonize over that oh-so-common question many people ask me when first broaching the subject of adoption: "How can we afford it?". To His glory!
If you know us well, you know that we have started down this long, and expensive, road to a China adoption because we were asked to by God. Funding this adoption was going to be unmistakably an act of God from the beginning. God has continued to show me throughout this process that He has control of this situation. That hasn't stopped me from worrying from time to time, but repeatedly God has provided what we have needed, as we have needed it. I'm learning this is a characteristic of my relationship with God. When it comes to ministry and service, I try to follow a principle of doing the work as God brings it. He's been faithful there, too.
We had been very faithful with our finances over the last year or so, and God had blessed us with a little surplus accumluation to help get us started. The first indicator that God was there in this process was the fact that we had enough to get going and pay for the "up front fees". I define those as the homestudy fees, adoption agency and dossier fees, and immigration fees. We knew we'd have to find a way, or God would have to show us a way, to pay for these items entirely out of our own means. As it turned out, He continued to provide enough as each fee became due.
Once we had an approved homestudy, we could apply for grants and no or low-cost loans to help with the remainder of the fees. These would primarily be travel, a Phase 2 agency fee, and the orphanage donation built into the cost of every adoption from China. This is no small sum. A grant from our agency for our son had already been provided by God to help some with this portion of the fees, but it's not enough. Still, we have faith God will provide for these fees through available grant and loan programs. He also showed us that with some purposeful "tightening of the belt" we could eek out some more from our monthly cash flow to help as time progressed and our travel date got closer. You can always find some things in your budget you can do without if you need to.
Then we were thrown a curveball. Due to unforeseen circumstances, our homestudy ended up about $800 more than we had originally anticipated, and in addition to that we learned we were going to have to pay for all 6 of China's "post placement visits" in advance, at the end of the homestudy process. This is because we ended up using a different homestudy agency than we had originally planned to. Post placement visits are a Hague Convention country requirement that last several years after your adoption finalizes. Some agencies allow families to pay for these as they go, after the child comes home, but our homestudy agency, in order to maintain high standards of ethics, has a policy of collecting all of the fees upfront, which amount to $3300. That was $3300 we had not anticipated paying during the adoption process itself.
Frankly, when I learned this I panicked. God had been faithful but that was going to be a large number to come up with unexpectedly in only a couple of months. This was a mountain in our path that God would have to move. I knew that to bring home Hudson, God would have to provide a way to get this homestudy completed, so that we could then apply for the grants and zero interest loans that I trust He will provide. But I had no idea where that money would come from. I just began to pray about this and my fears subsided. From time to time I would struggle with some fears, but God would always bring peace.
Meanwhile we continued our "beans and rice" strategy. Literally. At the point of this writing we are not on a diet exclusively of rice and beans, but we are eating less meat, plenty of pasta, and yes, about once a week beans and rice. Every twice-a-month pay period, our envelopes (go Dave Ramsey!) would contain surplus. Sometimes $100, often $200. This was after already enacting a slimmed down budged that was putting less into the envelopes and leaving more in the bank account to begin with. I began to call our Dave Ramsey Envelope System the "widow's oil" because each pay period, God was providing even more surplus than I expected by helping us to be frugal and responsible with what He'd given us. I didn't really have a good handle on our "new budget" because it was kind of fluid and we were just starting to try it out. We just did our best to spend as little as we could, within our "normal" budget, and there was always some left over.
I've saved the best for last. At this point, we have completed all 4 of our homestudy visits and the worker will be writing the homestudy. I expect we may have a completed homestudy by the end of October. Then it will be time to pay for our post-placement visits. Today was pay day, when I usually take account of our "envelope system", update my check register, and replenish the envelopes. So tonight I sat down with a calculator, Quicken, and my known major expenditures over the next few months. I started looking at our liquid savings, our upcoming obligations, the surplus our "skinny" budget had accumulated in our checking account, and my cash flow capabilites for the next 3 months. In my hands was a particular large payment due in January each year in Texas which is a non-negotiable. That's one we plan for, it's always paid, and always paid on time. I knew there was no way we could jeopardize that payment. It would be irresponsible. As I got out the calculator, I began to add up the savings, the surplus, and the cash flow over the next few months. Then I subtracted out the $3300 for the post-placement visits. That number on the calculator looked familiar. I looked again. The calculator told me that in January we'd have paid for our post-placement visits, continued living comfortable enough, but would fall just about $100 short of our obligation. I was shocked. The amount was so close to what we actually needed, but just short. That made me a little uneasy. But then I remembered, I had forgotten the widow's oil! Just before sitting down at the computer, I had looked at our envelopes, reclaimed the extra cash, and put it into my wallet to be deposited back into our bank account. That wallet contained exactly $100! I immediately knew this was no accident, it was God confirming again to me that He--Jehova Jireh--would provide for us, and for our son.
Some might find this incredulous or coincidental. But I know my God, and He keeps showing up and demonstrating His faithfulness to us. I hope I can be faithful to Him.
The next time I write, we might be eating beans and rice every night. But I will remember, that meal I will share with my family will be far better than the meal that most of the world's 150 million orphans will share in that day.
(post by Brian:)
If you know us well, you know that we have started down this long, and expensive, road to a China adoption because we were asked to by God. Funding this adoption was going to be unmistakably an act of God from the beginning. God has continued to show me throughout this process that He has control of this situation. That hasn't stopped me from worrying from time to time, but repeatedly God has provided what we have needed, as we have needed it. I'm learning this is a characteristic of my relationship with God. When it comes to ministry and service, I try to follow a principle of doing the work as God brings it. He's been faithful there, too.
We had been very faithful with our finances over the last year or so, and God had blessed us with a little surplus accumluation to help get us started. The first indicator that God was there in this process was the fact that we had enough to get going and pay for the "up front fees". I define those as the homestudy fees, adoption agency and dossier fees, and immigration fees. We knew we'd have to find a way, or God would have to show us a way, to pay for these items entirely out of our own means. As it turned out, He continued to provide enough as each fee became due.
Once we had an approved homestudy, we could apply for grants and no or low-cost loans to help with the remainder of the fees. These would primarily be travel, a Phase 2 agency fee, and the orphanage donation built into the cost of every adoption from China. This is no small sum. A grant from our agency for our son had already been provided by God to help some with this portion of the fees, but it's not enough. Still, we have faith God will provide for these fees through available grant and loan programs. He also showed us that with some purposeful "tightening of the belt" we could eek out some more from our monthly cash flow to help as time progressed and our travel date got closer. You can always find some things in your budget you can do without if you need to.
Then we were thrown a curveball. Due to unforeseen circumstances, our homestudy ended up about $800 more than we had originally anticipated, and in addition to that we learned we were going to have to pay for all 6 of China's "post placement visits" in advance, at the end of the homestudy process. This is because we ended up using a different homestudy agency than we had originally planned to. Post placement visits are a Hague Convention country requirement that last several years after your adoption finalizes. Some agencies allow families to pay for these as they go, after the child comes home, but our homestudy agency, in order to maintain high standards of ethics, has a policy of collecting all of the fees upfront, which amount to $3300. That was $3300 we had not anticipated paying during the adoption process itself.
Frankly, when I learned this I panicked. God had been faithful but that was going to be a large number to come up with unexpectedly in only a couple of months. This was a mountain in our path that God would have to move. I knew that to bring home Hudson, God would have to provide a way to get this homestudy completed, so that we could then apply for the grants and zero interest loans that I trust He will provide. But I had no idea where that money would come from. I just began to pray about this and my fears subsided. From time to time I would struggle with some fears, but God would always bring peace.
Meanwhile we continued our "beans and rice" strategy. Literally. At the point of this writing we are not on a diet exclusively of rice and beans, but we are eating less meat, plenty of pasta, and yes, about once a week beans and rice. Every twice-a-month pay period, our envelopes (go Dave Ramsey!) would contain surplus. Sometimes $100, often $200. This was after already enacting a slimmed down budged that was putting less into the envelopes and leaving more in the bank account to begin with. I began to call our Dave Ramsey Envelope System the "widow's oil" because each pay period, God was providing even more surplus than I expected by helping us to be frugal and responsible with what He'd given us. I didn't really have a good handle on our "new budget" because it was kind of fluid and we were just starting to try it out. We just did our best to spend as little as we could, within our "normal" budget, and there was always some left over.
I've saved the best for last. At this point, we have completed all 4 of our homestudy visits and the worker will be writing the homestudy. I expect we may have a completed homestudy by the end of October. Then it will be time to pay for our post-placement visits. Today was pay day, when I usually take account of our "envelope system", update my check register, and replenish the envelopes. So tonight I sat down with a calculator, Quicken, and my known major expenditures over the next few months. I started looking at our liquid savings, our upcoming obligations, the surplus our "skinny" budget had accumulated in our checking account, and my cash flow capabilites for the next 3 months. In my hands was a particular large payment due in January each year in Texas which is a non-negotiable. That's one we plan for, it's always paid, and always paid on time. I knew there was no way we could jeopardize that payment. It would be irresponsible. As I got out the calculator, I began to add up the savings, the surplus, and the cash flow over the next few months. Then I subtracted out the $3300 for the post-placement visits. That number on the calculator looked familiar. I looked again. The calculator told me that in January we'd have paid for our post-placement visits, continued living comfortable enough, but would fall just about $100 short of our obligation. I was shocked. The amount was so close to what we actually needed, but just short. That made me a little uneasy. But then I remembered, I had forgotten the widow's oil! Just before sitting down at the computer, I had looked at our envelopes, reclaimed the extra cash, and put it into my wallet to be deposited back into our bank account. That wallet contained exactly $100! I immediately knew this was no accident, it was God confirming again to me that He--Jehova Jireh--would provide for us, and for our son.
Some might find this incredulous or coincidental. But I know my God, and He keeps showing up and demonstrating His faithfulness to us. I hope I can be faithful to Him.
The next time I write, we might be eating beans and rice every night. But I will remember, that meal I will share with my family will be far better than the meal that most of the world's 150 million orphans will share in that day.
(post by Brian:)
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Three Months ago...
Three months ago we began this journey to bring our sweet dumpling home. This process, this marathon has stretched our faith and challenged us in ways we could not have imagined. We are not the same.
Two months ago I thought it was up to me to get all of the paperwork done and mailed off because I was afraid of many things. Fear of the unknown medicals of our son's face and the potential of harm to his mind or precious heart, the new criteria for adoptive parents, funding this adoption.
God reminded me that every aspect of this journey and every detail has already been planned out. Sovereign plans that began long before we purchased a bib.
It has been hard. I've not ever had an adoption like this before where he found us and then we went about making sure we could qualify to adopt...I was really just trying to sponsor a child. God had better plans. Plans that would stretch my faith and have me look at things that I had held back from Him.
Trust.
An area of weakness in my heart. God has brought wounded areas of my heart under His complete restoration. He has healed my heart and I know that He will also heal my son's.
I used to ask God to help me. Then I asked if I might help Him. I ended up by asking Him to do His work through me.
Hudson Taylor
Faith.
Although it is hard to go a day without a reminder of God's faithfulness, as our daughter is named Faith,still I doubt. I see the growing lump in my son's face and the way that his eye continues to be squished and I think God must have forgotten about his needs. I read the numbers miraculously in our account right when we need to write more checks, knowing that IS God, but still holding onto some doubts about the next steps. Then He shows up and money is found again...exactly how much and exactly when we need it.
Giving.
My husband has had a goal of giving on the gross...I did not share that same goal, but yielded at least outwardly. As we prayerfully researched Orphan Sunday and how to engage as well as equip the Church for action. We began to pray for others to see the needs and for them to be pierced as we were. God has a funny way of piercing your own heart. Especially when you pray dangerously...not sure I know any other way to pray?!
God asked us to give more. That WAS a faith stretcher, but the more we saw the easier it was. Abba's heart broke for the millions that we would never know, but that He knew by name all over the world. Our hearts broke too and we started this month to support 3 of the ministries that we will be bringing to our Church body.
You may choose to look the other way but you can never say again that you did not know. William Wilberforce
Prayer.
My precious dumpling, how you have been the reason for your Dad, me and your sisters and brother to be on our faces before God almighty. We have needed wisdom and strength to keep our focus. His Spirit has taught us so much about asking, seeking & knocking. God has supplied and He continues to meet our needs.
"God's work done in God's way will never lack God's supplies."
There are so many more lessons...
Three months ago we obeyed, now we are following God. His leading is radiant.
Two months ago I thought it was up to me to get all of the paperwork done and mailed off because I was afraid of many things. Fear of the unknown medicals of our son's face and the potential of harm to his mind or precious heart, the new criteria for adoptive parents, funding this adoption.
God reminded me that every aspect of this journey and every detail has already been planned out. Sovereign plans that began long before we purchased a bib.
It has been hard. I've not ever had an adoption like this before where he found us and then we went about making sure we could qualify to adopt...I was really just trying to sponsor a child. God had better plans. Plans that would stretch my faith and have me look at things that I had held back from Him.
Trust.
An area of weakness in my heart. God has brought wounded areas of my heart under His complete restoration. He has healed my heart and I know that He will also heal my son's.
I used to ask God to help me. Then I asked if I might help Him. I ended up by asking Him to do His work through me.
Hudson Taylor
Faith.
Although it is hard to go a day without a reminder of God's faithfulness, as our daughter is named Faith,still I doubt. I see the growing lump in my son's face and the way that his eye continues to be squished and I think God must have forgotten about his needs. I read the numbers miraculously in our account right when we need to write more checks, knowing that IS God, but still holding onto some doubts about the next steps. Then He shows up and money is found again...exactly how much and exactly when we need it.
Giving.
My husband has had a goal of giving on the gross...I did not share that same goal, but yielded at least outwardly. As we prayerfully researched Orphan Sunday and how to engage as well as equip the Church for action. We began to pray for others to see the needs and for them to be pierced as we were. God has a funny way of piercing your own heart. Especially when you pray dangerously...not sure I know any other way to pray?!
God asked us to give more. That WAS a faith stretcher, but the more we saw the easier it was. Abba's heart broke for the millions that we would never know, but that He knew by name all over the world. Our hearts broke too and we started this month to support 3 of the ministries that we will be bringing to our Church body.
You may choose to look the other way but you can never say again that you did not know. William Wilberforce
Prayer.
My precious dumpling, how you have been the reason for your Dad, me and your sisters and brother to be on our faces before God almighty. We have needed wisdom and strength to keep our focus. His Spirit has taught us so much about asking, seeking & knocking. God has supplied and He continues to meet our needs.
"God's work done in God's way will never lack God's supplies."
There are so many more lessons...
Three months ago we obeyed, now we are following God. His leading is radiant.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Praying over our meals
There are a few ministries that we've been learning about that do various types of children/orphan care. It is easy to learn and offer them up to the body on Orphan Sunday...but that didn't feel right.
How could I be recommending these great ministries for others to financially support and NOT support them myself?!
How could God be asking for more when we already are making sacrifices to fund our son's adoption? Reading through the realities of life around the world, the hopelessness, the loss of innocence and of life, the only lasting answer being Jesus Christ and the efforts of several ministries I am reading about.
A number kept coming up to me that we were supposed to give. I knew that any "extra" was going to Hudson's fund or allocated to other things. Giving more now?
Yes.
It was very clear. Now.
Still as I prayed this number kept coming up.
Somehow, we have been finding small amounts of money in strange places. In Brian's pants, in the Ramsey envelopes, in our bank account?! Not anything large, but several smaller sums.
Instead of using some money to splurge on take out, we agreed to start the new funds.
I still had to figure out something for dinner. I prayed and God supplied. There was frozen left over pork from a few weeks ago, some wild rice and instant white rice, red onions, raisins, celery, carrots,apples and a peach. I prayed as I searched and soon there was a meal. Topping it off with some cinnamon we had dinner.
The kids wondered if I was cooking a new kind of Chinese food;)
A little while later, we realized that there was a slight increase in Brian's check. Also increasing our tithe. Needless to say it was DOUBLE the amount that I thought we were supposed to give!
Don't worry, already asking God what He wants us to do with the rest...church adoption fund, adoption library, paying for conferences, and summit...
Yes, Dr. S.M. Lockridge, That's MY King!
That was an incredible answer to a dangerous prayer.
How could I be recommending these great ministries for others to financially support and NOT support them myself?!
How could God be asking for more when we already are making sacrifices to fund our son's adoption? Reading through the realities of life around the world, the hopelessness, the loss of innocence and of life, the only lasting answer being Jesus Christ and the efforts of several ministries I am reading about.
A number kept coming up to me that we were supposed to give. I knew that any "extra" was going to Hudson's fund or allocated to other things. Giving more now?
Yes.
It was very clear. Now.
Still as I prayed this number kept coming up.
Somehow, we have been finding small amounts of money in strange places. In Brian's pants, in the Ramsey envelopes, in our bank account?! Not anything large, but several smaller sums.
Instead of using some money to splurge on take out, we agreed to start the new funds.
I still had to figure out something for dinner. I prayed and God supplied. There was frozen left over pork from a few weeks ago, some wild rice and instant white rice, red onions, raisins, celery, carrots,apples and a peach. I prayed as I searched and soon there was a meal. Topping it off with some cinnamon we had dinner.
The kids wondered if I was cooking a new kind of Chinese food;)
A little while later, we realized that there was a slight increase in Brian's check. Also increasing our tithe. Needless to say it was DOUBLE the amount that I thought we were supposed to give!
Don't worry, already asking God what He wants us to do with the rest...church adoption fund, adoption library, paying for conferences, and summit...
Yes, Dr. S.M. Lockridge, That's MY King!
That was an incredible answer to a dangerous prayer.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)