why? Because he is yours.

The next few days I grieved for myself and for the precious boy.  I asked God why this had to happen? Why was there nobody able to See how incredible this child was and running forward to adopt him!!! Why was he now less likely to find forever?Why? Why?

As I stopped acting like Job and question God it and seeking him to comfort and provide. It was a whisper and I clearly heard these words "...Because he is yours." 

My mind raced with the facts of all the mountains in my circumstances that had not changed and now he was living in a large orphanage...yet, whispered again ..." Because he is yours."

Psalm 34:5 Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.

an unexpected interest

I took down the pictures I had up on the wall of this boy. It was really painful to see him and pray for him and yet not be able to run forward to adopt him.

I didn't want to talk about him, but my children were in the habit of praying for him nightly so we continued to do that as a family.  I began to question if I was wrong and this was someone else 's son. I didn't bring up that idea of adopting him but prayed hard in my heart for him.

Unexpectedly my husband brought him up to me not that he was ready to move forward but that he was prayerfully beginning to seek God and listen as He leads... WOW, is that a mountain getting ready to move?!
Wisely, this time, I prayed harder and shut up.

someone didn't get the memo!

We are usually so like-minded when it comes to adoption and adding to our family.  This cannot be pleasing to God so I am putting down my right to be right. I know that it is not pleasing to God to badger my husband into making a HUGE decision. He is a planner and takes a lot of time to make a decision and rarely is it the wrong one.  

One of us is wrong or just didn't get the memo!
It is too painful to be distant from my husband and painful to think of letting go of this boy that I had been asking God for especially as it looked like he was confirming.

unexpected move

Today as part of my summer bible study we're going through Beth Moore's Psalms and I read Psalm 127. It talked about children, sons and heritage.  I wondered what these Psalms were meaning to me as my circumstance it seemed impossible that I was going to be adding another son.  Yet the more I read through the portions of the study that happened to be these few Psalms the more I felt like God was telling me something about sons and mountains.

Neither word made too much sense. Sons. Mountains. 

I got an email today that I was hoping to avoid. It was from the orphanage director, letting me know that he had been moved yesterday back to the large orphanage that he originally came from.

I cried so hard. I'd been begging God to move mountains with this boy both in my own family and if there was another forever family for him that they'd come forward.

I thought about how scared he must be and how hard the next few months filled with loss and adjustments to being in a large orphanage would be for him. 

I was brokenhearted, confused and blamed myself and  husband as responsible for the move...not that it made any sense in any way.

Hard to collect myself and email a reply, I knew that my heart wasn't the only one broken.

"hard to type through my tears. love this boy, I know you do too...

my bday is a few weeks after his, I asked for a son.


his story is NOT over...just at a difficult part."

Advocate for a surgeon

So, what's the next best thing to adopting this precious child, helping him find a forever family.  He is amazing and deserves permanence, even if not with us. An email reply came with my email attached

"Message:
As much as I want surgery after my hard-earned 100 lbs weight loss, I have learned about someone that deserves surgery far more. I saw your video about your humanitarian work. I have recent pictures as well as online pics from his children's home. He has ____ and they have been "repaired". His case is severe and they are not able to find a foster home in country for him...let alone a forever home for him due to his appearance. He has been described as very sweet by those that have met him. Do you ever work with children that are from this area in ____ If so,can we sponsor his surgery? Do you ever travel to this part of ___? As an adoptive parent of a son... that has benefited from this kind of surgery I know personally the benefits of a good plastic/reconstruction surgeon. This may help this child find a forever family that he truly deserves, but folks just can't see how special he is and are off put by his face.
Thank you for your time & consideration. Psalm 34:4-5"

an amazing video and a difficult question

We got the video (on Father's Day weekend) featuring this amazing boy! It was incredible seeing him and hearing him. He was enjoying playing with a red truck and a Thomas the Tank Engine.  In one of his hands gripped tightly he held a lollipop. He seemed pretty excited to have that. 

As I watched this boy by myself and then later with my husband and children, each time I saw his face or heard his voice my mommy heart lept.  I began to think this was my son...wasn't this impossible?!

Later I got an email back asking a difficult question...adopting or advocating...?


How could I answer that? My mommy heart beating so loudly it made it hard to hear anything else, but it wasn't my decision to make alone.

a clueless advocate creates a waiting child blog

So, unsure of what we are supposed to do...and feeling like God is growing a desire to do more for this child in particular. I did what others do when they care and cannot adopt themselves and a blog was born.  I had no idea if what I was doing was actually going to bring him permanence, but I just had to try.  Clueless and unsure of rules, manners or what it common practice, I want to include the orphanage director, and hope that she approves. Prayerfully and nervously, I emailed



“I have found that there are three stages in every great work of God: first, it is impossible, then it is difficult, then it is done.” Hudson Taylor

a file and pictures that took my heart

I read the file and received additional pictures of this incredible boy.  It was a lot to process. My husband was sure that God wanted us to only advocate and only advocate for just him.

Early Blog Advocasy

Hudson

 Precious Hudson, could he be the son that you've been praying for?

Psalm 34:4-5  I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.
He's had surgery to repair lip and palate. Thanks to the Children's Home.

Hudson is described as a sweet boy by those that have met him. He likes to look at books. He has received surgery as well as being dearly loved and cared for largely by a Children's Home, where he had lived until his recent move to the SWI.

Please join us in prayer as we watch expectantly as God continues to move in Hudson's life!!


“I have found that there are three stages in every great work of God: first, it is impossible, then it is difficult, then it is done.” J. Hudson Taylor

Waited not so patiently and then...

I waited and prayed as I shared the emails and pictures of the boy with my children and husband. We were simply advocating and supporting others in their adoption journey. We could further advocate or sponsor.

June 4th, I contacted the advocating agency by email and followed up with a phone call. I was given a bit more information. I was clear that we were interested in advocating or sponsoring at the point...

"I've been emailing with ____ from ___ about _____ He is precious! Is he still available for sponsoring or adoption? Do you have any other information about him?
Thanks, "