Friday, August 19, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Not Covered in Shame
Shame.
There had been much that once haunted me. I had felt both defined and burdened by shame.
It has been incredibly freeing to live in forgiveness and having faced some difficult things. That is not a removal of certain events, but a change in the way I view them. I choose to forgive and to be forgiven. Living in peace...
Someone once said "Restoration comes in different ways..." I had not ever thought one day I would both have been restored and improved. Not perfected...but a work in progress. His work. His way. His supplies;)
Does this perspective make me sound like two different people? Not hardly.
Unafraid. Unashamed. Unobstructed. Unique.
Radiant, for God as I was created to be. Sparkling much like the cut of the diamond on my finger.
Most definitely not covered in shame!
There had been much that once haunted me. I had felt both defined and burdened by shame.
It has been incredibly freeing to live in forgiveness and having faced some difficult things. That is not a removal of certain events, but a change in the way I view them. I choose to forgive and to be forgiven. Living in peace...
Someone once said "Restoration comes in different ways..." I had not ever thought one day I would both have been restored and improved. Not perfected...but a work in progress. His work. His way. His supplies;)
Does this perspective make me sound like two different people? Not hardly.
Unafraid. Unashamed. Unobstructed. Unique.
Radiant, for God as I was created to be. Sparkling much like the cut of the diamond on my finger.
Most definitely not covered in shame!
Be Still
Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations,I will be exalted in the earth.”
Ouch! When I run for too long I get this nasty cramp in my right side. I try all of the techniques to get rid of it, but the only way to relieve the pain is to slow down and begin to be still.
Being still is one of my least favorite things to do and I'm really not good at it. I can rest and relax with the family and spend leisure time with hubby, but being still...that's hard.
Parts of this adoptive race have been difficult and more recently painful. Mostly due to the pace that we have been sprinting, making so many decisions so quickly. We are sure that this is what God has asked us to, we're sure that the international agency is the one that He chose for us and our son...
We have been in prayer over the weekend and fasted on Monday seeking God's guidance. A verse that I read on the license plate holder of the car in front of me read "Psalm 46:1 “Be still, and know I am God" has spoken to me several times. Loved Kirk Franklin & Toby Mac combo= greatness video!
Be still and KNOW I am God. Really, in many ways that is exactly what I needed to read.
Stop. Be Still. Don't run right now, don't do. Know I AM.
Gifts of blessing have come in so many ways. A precious family spoke at our adoption meeting on Sunday. Truly she ministered to my heart, she was wickedly funny and gracious...one of the best combinations!!
A reminder of God being with us about five years earlier when we struggled with our son's diagnosis and questioned if we were following God in our adoption plan. He confirmed then just as He has done now that these boys are our sons...gifts and blessings entrusted to us by God and one day in the not so distant future will undoubtedly pee in very inappropriate places;)
Hubby & I prayed hard over the weekend and fasted and prayed on Monday. We were given some direction, but mostly reminded to be still and know He is God.
I will for now, but remembering that Hudson needs to be home, the rest is not going to be a long one.
Being still, resting and praying hard for clarity and a December travel date for our sweet boy.
Ouch! When I run for too long I get this nasty cramp in my right side. I try all of the techniques to get rid of it, but the only way to relieve the pain is to slow down and begin to be still.
Being still is one of my least favorite things to do and I'm really not good at it. I can rest and relax with the family and spend leisure time with hubby, but being still...that's hard.
Parts of this adoptive race have been difficult and more recently painful. Mostly due to the pace that we have been sprinting, making so many decisions so quickly. We are sure that this is what God has asked us to, we're sure that the international agency is the one that He chose for us and our son...
We have been in prayer over the weekend and fasted on Monday seeking God's guidance. A verse that I read on the license plate holder of the car in front of me read "Psalm 46:1 “Be still, and know I am God" has spoken to me several times. Loved Kirk Franklin & Toby Mac combo= greatness video!
Be still and KNOW I am God. Really, in many ways that is exactly what I needed to read.
Stop. Be Still. Don't run right now, don't do. Know I AM.
Gifts of blessing have come in so many ways. A precious family spoke at our adoption meeting on Sunday. Truly she ministered to my heart, she was wickedly funny and gracious...one of the best combinations!!
A reminder of God being with us about five years earlier when we struggled with our son's diagnosis and questioned if we were following God in our adoption plan. He confirmed then just as He has done now that these boys are our sons...gifts and blessings entrusted to us by God and one day in the not so distant future will undoubtedly pee in very inappropriate places;)
Hubby & I prayed hard over the weekend and fasted and prayed on Monday. We were given some direction, but mostly reminded to be still and know He is God.
I will for now, but remembering that Hudson needs to be home, the rest is not going to be a long one.
Being still, resting and praying hard for clarity and a December travel date for our sweet boy.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Letter to Hudson, My Younger Son Carried in my Heart.
My Little Dumpling,
This week had been hard. I miss you so much and wish that you were home already. You have already inspired me to be a better mommy and to yield so much more of my will to our Creator. I look over the few pictures that I have of you I see such life and joy in your eyes. From a young infant you are clearly radiant and completely remarkable. How you've captured the hearts of so many, how you've pointed so many to the undeniable power of a perfect Creator that had already had a plan that we are now just beginning to understand.
Son, er zi, we love you so much. You seem so far away. Hard to rest and trust. We printed a few pictures of you and put them in frames. I try to trust and rest whenever I see your sweet smiling face...it is hard.
I found a phrase, not sure if is is accurate or if you will understand....
Zhe shi wo erzi = This is my son
One day I will say it with pride as I introduce you in person.
Wo ai ni!
Ma ma
This week had been hard. I miss you so much and wish that you were home already. You have already inspired me to be a better mommy and to yield so much more of my will to our Creator. I look over the few pictures that I have of you I see such life and joy in your eyes. From a young infant you are clearly radiant and completely remarkable. How you've captured the hearts of so many, how you've pointed so many to the undeniable power of a perfect Creator that had already had a plan that we are now just beginning to understand.
Son, er zi, we love you so much. You seem so far away. Hard to rest and trust. We printed a few pictures of you and put them in frames. I try to trust and rest whenever I see your sweet smiling face...it is hard.
I found a phrase, not sure if is is accurate or if you will understand....
Zhe shi wo erzi = This is my son
One day I will say it with pride as I introduce you in person.
Wo ai ni!
Ma ma
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Another Adoption!!!
A few days ago, our middle daughter decided to be adopted again. this time she decided to be adopted into God's forever family!!!
We are thrilled and very blessed.
He IS!!!
We are thrilled and very blessed.
He IS!!!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
A Mommy's Heart
Sadly, someone I respect and admire, had to make a very hard decision today.
A real mother loves beyond herself and is strong enough to let go, trusting God to take care of her beloved and to heal her mommy heart.
So many things I do not understand.
This I know He IS.
A real mother loves beyond herself and is strong enough to let go, trusting God to take care of her beloved and to heal her mommy heart.
So many things I do not understand.
This I know He IS.
We Got PA!!!!!
Figuring out what all these terms mean...PA is Pre Approval
We wrote our Letter Of Intent (the first one) that also included a Nurture/Rehabilitation Plan along with some family info and some pictures. Sent it to the agency they then translated and entered it online to the secure site.
This amazing little piece of paper. Beaming as I read our names and his name granting permission to proceed to the next step to adopting our son dated August 2, 2011.
PA Pretty Awesome!!!
We wrote our Letter Of Intent (the first one) that also included a Nurture/Rehabilitation Plan along with some family info and some pictures. Sent it to the agency they then translated and entered it online to the secure site.
This amazing little piece of paper. Beaming as I read our names and his name granting permission to proceed to the next step to adopting our son dated August 2, 2011.
PA Pretty Awesome!!!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
WOW, What a Week!
A snip of my post recapping my week...
"WOW...last week was very hard. Now have a reverence towards the waiting child program...
Our lives have been changed since seeing a beautiful face, It has been a lot like sprinting the first few miles of a marathon. God was faithful and brought us through. This week minus a few things I need to wrap up is like a much needed water station. We're sweaty, tired and very thirsty. Catching my breath and looking at my watch to adjust my pace. Smiling as I remember my youngest daughter told the sw "I don't want to adopt Hudson." Later she revealed she wants a sister...reminded her that now it was a brother but she could ask God for a sister. Good thing we're asking to be approved for two, so we'll be ready should another child find her way into my inbox one day..."
"WOW...last week was very hard. Now have a reverence towards the waiting child program...
Our lives have been changed since seeing a beautiful face, It has been a lot like sprinting the first few miles of a marathon. God was faithful and brought us through. This week minus a few things I need to wrap up is like a much needed water station. We're sweaty, tired and very thirsty. Catching my breath and looking at my watch to adjust my pace. Smiling as I remember my youngest daughter told the sw "I don't want to adopt Hudson." Later she revealed she wants a sister...reminded her that now it was a brother but she could ask God for a sister. Good thing we're asking to be approved for two, so we'll be ready should another child find her way into my inbox one day..."
Monday, August 1, 2011
Learning Mandarin with some help from our friends
Pressing On, Feeling My Legs Begin to Wobble Hoping for PA.
PA, Pre Approval given to us from the sending country granting permission to continue the process to officially adopt our son. I feel my legs getting wobbly as I hear many folks talk of things like days up to two weeks waiting for PA. Not actually sure when our LOI and info was entered into the online system, but we overnighted the docs to our agency 7/13/11...assume that it was entered in soon later...looks like we are entering into week 3.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)